When I say it never ends…

I really really really mean it never ends.  It seems my husband and I have a never ending streak of bad luck.  But, it’s also bad-luck-that-really-has-a-pretty-good-outcome-because-it-always-could-have-been-worse.

Two years ago, my husband was diagnosed with rare sarcoma cancer behind his eye.  Bad luck.  He had major surgery near his brain to remove the grape-size tumore.  Bad luck.  He spent a week in surgical ICU, endured 3 other surgeries, and 6 weeks of radiation therapy.  More bad luck.  But, he survived all his challenged, and is cancer free.  So, could have been worse.  He still gets rechecked every 6 months and annual MRI’s to make sure he remains cancer free.  So we’re still in that “not quite out of the woods yet” zone.

My streak of bad luck with horses resulted in me nearly giving up riding right around 2007, when I found my gray mare a new home.  I took riding lessons, though, and finally after 3 years, I built up enough half-confidence to get another riding horse.  6 months later, I stopped riding.  More bad luck.  But, that got me going with driving a little more, and now I’ve got a great horse that is driving beautifully, and I am enjoying driving him soooo much and I can be proud that I trained him to do it myself.  So, definitely could have been worse.

The day I realized I had to stop riding, back in February, I had something of an epiphone.  I realized my weight was a big factor about why I needed to stop riding, and other problems I’ve had, like a nerve issue in my leg.  So I decided to start losing the weight.  For real.

In 8 months, I’ve lost 45 pounds.  Good luck, right?  Well, then I lost enough weight to notice a lump in my thigh and now I’ve been diagnosed with.. guess what?  The same rare sarcoma cancer my husband had.  Bad luck.  I hope I’ll pull through fine, although I am worried about surgery and possible radiation treatment.  So, hopefully this will fall into the “could have been worse” category too.

And there’s something of an irony there, about decided to get healthy, take control of my weight, and end up realizing I’ve probably had this cancerous lump for years.  My tumor is about 2″ long, and round.  About the size of a large walnut.

So on Monday, I had the MRI which confirmed the cancer.  On Wednesday, I was referred to a cancer center at a university in Chicago.  My insurance didn’t cover the other cancer place I was supposed to be referred to.  Wednesday was a stressful day.  On Thursday I was sent in for lab work.  On Friday I had spoken to the hospital and was informed they had all my medical records and I would need a biospy next.  Now I’m waiting for a call from the University to schedule that.  So I’m sitting here in a waiting game now and stressing the whole time.

But wait, there’s more…

Saturday night, just about 2 hours ago, my husband and I were sitting watching TV (Psych, actually ~ love that show).  I glanced out the window and happened to notice lights flickering.

I say to husband “Oh, God, does she have the cops over again?”

(To clarify, our neighbor is CRAZY on every level of the word.  I have called the police on her, and so has everyone within the nearest 6 houses many many many times.)

Being nosy that I am, I pop my eyeballs through my mini blinds.  The next words out of my mouth were done in a scream.


My husband: “CALL 911!!”

Me: “Is she in the house?  Oh MY GOD, go see if she’s in the house”

In a panic, I run to my phone and call 911, frantically howling our address and saying a house is on fire.  I go running outside and my husband had found our neighbor.  She was another neighbor’s house and realized what was happening and attempted to enter the house to get her pet birds.  Her birds were dead.

Police quickly came, fire trucks arrived, we were told to move our cars.  (There are about 20 feet between the 2 houses).  I run into the house and frantically grab my and mine husband’s keys.


I throw him the keys and we get our cars safely down the block to make room for the fire trucks and police.

Then, I come running back up the block in my socks, never did have time to get shoes on.  We go flying into our house in a vain attempt to catch our 4 cats and get the dog and our bird out while the flames are shooting.

We can’t catch the cats.  We move our sofa, we chase them around, but we can’t get them.  The police officer in the house with us tells us we MUST GET OUT.

Quickly though, the flames did come under control, and our house, while a bit singed, is no worse for wear.  We have some siding damage.

Crazy neighbor’s house is totally burned.  It’s just a shell.  There’s little left.  The flames were unreal and the experience of looking out your window and realizing this is happening is something that I promise will leave a mark on my husband and I for ever.  This is not something I hope you have to experience.  This was terrifying, and the flames just kept growing bigger and bigger.

It took about 15 minutes to get them mostly doused, but 2 hours later, the fire fighters are still out there.

Once all the nearby neighbors were herded into the street, evacuated from their homes either by curiosity or by the police, I took some video.




nd once again, it’s bad luck in our never ending streak of craptacular things to keep happening, but since we’re no worse for wear, really it could be worse.  A LOT WORSE.

This experience, though, has made me realize I need to make copies of things I don’t want to lose, like sentimental things, and store them out of the house somewhere.

Geeze, the last few days I’ve been writing a letter, I’ve been thinking about the worst, to the point of writing a much needed letter to my husband just in case, and now I’m worried about our house burning down.  I’m almost afraid to go to sleep tonight.  What the heck is going to happen next?

Can’t wait to see my horses tomorrow and drive them all.  Still shaking a bit, though for right now.

About kshai1715

I am a lifelong equestrian, photography enthusiast, sci-fi lover, and sci-fi convention & costuming geek that also loves movies and video games. I am a hard working and life-loving 40- something woman that survived cancer and am looking forward to a long, healthy, self-empowered life. Welcome to my blog and I hope you enjoy reading about my horses (and the rest of my life) as much as I like writing about them.
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