You know you’ve heard the expression “riding like a sack of potatos.” I fall into that category. Above is the link to my Chronicles of the Horse post, and the thread that is now at 6 pages and over 100 posts. It is all so informative it’s amazing. I’ve learned more about my riding flaws in the last 24 hours than I have in 5 years of one on one instruction with my trainer.
What really bugs me, now the more that I think about it, is that I discussed the issues I’ve had with all my past horses, my trainer helped me out with the gray mare and the buckskin, she was aware of how I feel it is my riding, but yet she NEVER POINTED OUT ANY FLAWS IN MY RIDING.
Sure, she corrected minor issues, helped me learn to balance the horse (ironic since as a rider, I’m out of balance). I guess we did a lot of work with the horse, but little with me. So here I am riding around, slamming too hard in the saddle and sitting crooked and ruining my horses and it never got corrected. Even back when I had the grey mare working with a dressage trainer, my riding flaws never got corrected.
The saddle fitter is actually coming out this afternoon. I so wound up in knots over all this, the saddle fitting almost seems pointless. My riding is just so poor and it’s never been touched on by my instructor, how can I possibly correct it?
What, she didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to hurt my feelings? Imply that I’m fat and having a hard time controlling the new oversized me?
So… instead of correcting a problem, I’ve just been allowed to ride poorly, think I’m doing well, and happily fork over the money, is that it?
This has been a real eye opener for me. I *knew* it was my riding back when Spyder started her issues. It *had* to be me because other people could ride Spyder and Tate and not have issues – in the same tack I was using. So again, with Chewbacca, it’s not the tack (well, maybe the saddle isn’t fitting properly) – it’s my poor riding.
And here I was paying hundreds a month for instruction to learn to be a better rider, and I actually got worse.
This is just so upsetting – the past, the present, the future. Maybe I could have actually gotten Spyder to be the competitive Dressage horse I wanted her to be if I just had correction from instructor then. Maybe I wouldn’t have ruined her so badly.
Maybe I never would have gotten another horse. (Although I now I should not have).
Maybe I’ll never ride again, and believe I am really thinking hard core about that. I’ll miss riding terribly, but I can still drive, and I’ll always love horses and be around them.
I need to lose weight, I need to fit myself up to get better at controlling my body on a horse, but mostly, I need to find the confidence to trust myself on a horse again, and I’m not sure I’m capable of that.
In other news, Chewbacca’s harness arrived yesterday – making that what I think was the fastest eBay shipping EVER. It’s a cheap harness, but just for ground driving, it should be OK. It’ll do fine if I do get a cart for him, too. It’s pretty, and the leather isn’t half bad. (not half-good, either, but I wasn’t about to crack out $1,200 on a good harness). I’ll fit all that on him tonight after the saddle fitting is done. I have a concern that the girth for the harness is too short, so I may need to replace a few parts!! I measured, but it still looks to me like it won’t fit.
Oh, and speaking of harnesses that don’t fit… oh man does Luke ever need a new schooling harness!!! He has a good quality $800 show harness, but his piece o’crap schooling harness that I think I paid a hundred bucks for is barely getting around his girth anymore! LOL! Luke weighs almost 750 pounds, and when I bought him he was 600.
Well, anyway, I’ll update about the saddle fitting. Finding new instruction for me may be a mute point because I don’t have the money to pay for more lessons or the faith that I can find an instructor capable of correcting my problems.